Consider: when I reversed huffily, to get out of the way of a bus that should not have been on that street at all, and hit a car that was close in behind me so that I could not see it from my BFB* – I said “Fuck it!”, but truly, it was in the wrong spirit.
Again, while trying to get across traffic during a sudden evening rush in my suburb, I start to to go, and suddenly, the car I would have gone behind, brakes, and turns, so I nearly ram it. Again I say “Fuck it!”, to the consternation of my son and his friend, and not to my soothing at all. And do you start to see a trend here, John? I do – driving…!
The spirit is willing, John, but weak: I try to do the serene “Fuck it!” quite frequently, and often succeed – I no longer try to kill minibus taxis misbehaving in heavy traffic [but see here for someone who does] – but as often (alas!) fail.
On the other hand, putting off work works wonderfully: I find all sorts of nicer things to do…but John, the work comes back to haunt me! Which doubles the angst, and increases the frequency of the 4 am panic attacks for what I haven’t done.
Help me out here, John: The Way is seductive, but replete with traps, and dead-ends. How do I make sure my career is not one of these also?
Or do I really not understand? I fear this may be so – but I shall continue to try.
Yours in the Fuck It Way,
* = Big frikkin’ bus